Thanksgiving Dinner is my annual reality show!

Ahh another holiday is upon us. Let me give you a glimpse into what will be another Thanksgiving Dinner at my mother's house....

Mom will be in the kitchen and grams will be telling her for the hundredth time how to do it properly. Somewhere between cooking dinner and sitting down for it, sis and Vin will wind up in some kind of He-Man/She-Ra wrestling match to see who is the "most cool" and I'll start yelling at both of them and mom will think they're really fighting and then we'll both yell at them.

Afterwards when we sit down to dinner, someone will be talking and grams is going to interrupt with her opinion. Mom will roll her eyes and say "maaaa let them finish". Then grams is going to roll her eyes and shut up. Shortly thereafter someone else will say something and grams will again interrupt with her opinion. Mom is going to roll her eyes again, stab her food as if trying to kill it (again!) and say "maaaa......" and grams will shut up again.

Sometime during dinner, it is guaranteed Kim will tell a totally inappropriate joke after which I will be literally face down in my plate of sweet potatoes dying of embarassment. Of course Vinny and mom will be laughing because they think Kim's joke is funny and Grams will be sitting there wondering how she missed the punch line. A little later, Vin is going to refer to mom as the "battle axe" and grams will give him the evil eye which will, in turn, provoke him even more, meanwhile mom just shrugs it off laughing and calling him a "shithead" LOL.

It is guaranteed that several times during dinner Mom will have occasion to reach for the carving knife and not for purposes of cutting turkey I might add. Then she stops, realizing that really she's not cut out for prison life. She will however, make a mental note to email her bestest friend in the whole wide world (June) later that night after all the children are gone (thank God!) to compare Thanksgiving Dinner Day notes.

Eventually Kim will insist on doing the dishes because she's so hyper and has to be doing something but she's going to make mom nervous and drive her crazy so mom will insist on doing the dishes because like grams she doesn't want anyone breaking her favorite glasses. So, with nothing left to do, Kim gets on her iphone Facebooking all the day's events to the 20,000 people she knows. hen out of sheer boredom she'll go outside with Vinny and they'll proceed to "talk shit" and go into dad's workshop where they can find all sorts of things to get them into trouble. Mom of course will see the garage open and say "oh Gawd I hope they're not moving anything around in there." Mom will be watching through the window with concern while washing dishes hoping they don't disturb the nest of some wild animal living in the workshop. Meanwhile grams is nagging mom and mom's not listening. 

While all this is going on I'll be sitting in the living room on my netbook blogging all this insane dysfunction while watching some really shitty movie that mom's got on the SyFy channel, a movie that nobody was watching in the first place because she just keeps the TV on so the bird has something to WATCH LOL.

Dad would be proud that even though he's passed on, some things have just not changed at all!